OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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