you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize