so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
