The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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