I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
