I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
