Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
