my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize