I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
