Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
