I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
