I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
