Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize