I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
do herpes really smell.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
