all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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