I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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