Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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