I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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