:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I am morally bankrupt
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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