so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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