Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
