It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
