My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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