Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
