wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
