Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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