remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
