Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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