Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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