I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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