were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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