this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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