I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
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You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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