I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
