high people should be assigned attendants
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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