Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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