He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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