my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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