Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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