Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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