I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
