i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
