I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
