for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do vagina's smell?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
