you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
