You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
