i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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