Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.

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(716): View more from New York

I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..

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(207): View more from Maine

You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I feel a five day drunk coming on.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!

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(904): View more from Florida

If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.

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