Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
