I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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