Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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