I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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