her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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