we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize