just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize